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Amazing Avocado Jokes

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Are you a fan of the green squishy vegetable known as the avocado? (or is it a fruit? no idea)... Forget avocado toast, these avocado jokes will have you turning green with laughter!

What does the audience yell after an avocado concert?


What do you call two male avocados who are best friends and hang out all the time?


What do you call an avocado who goes to church regularly?

Holy guacamole

What is the term for a group of young avocados?


See you later avogator?

After a while guacodile!

How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?


What do you get when you cross an avocado with a cell phone?

A guacy-talkie

Did you hear about the market battle between the two biggest avocado growers?

It was a Hass-tyle takeover

What do you call a bird of prey eating avocado toast?

A millennium falcon

What treatment does an avocado seek for pain?


Have you heard of the avocado dance marathon?

They guac’ed around the clock

How can you tell if an avocado is Irish?

It has a pit of gold

What did the broken chip say to the avocado?

Well, this is guacward

What did the avocado’s wife say to him?

We’re going to avo-baby

Where did the rich avocado parents send their daughter?

To a private guacademy

Why should you avoid putting avocados in your eyes?

You might get guac-oma

What did the avocado aliens say when they landed on earth?

Resistance is fruit-ile

How does an avocado exercise?

It does avocardio

Why did the hipster like the painting of the avocado?

Why did the hipster like the painting of the avocado?

What do you call a massive fight between a lot of avocados?


What do avocados come packaged in?


What happens when you eat the last bit of guacamole out of the bowl?

You’ve hit guac-bottom

What did the avocado say to her date?

Wanna avo-cuddle?

How do you make avocado bread?

With avaca-dough

What kind of music does an avocado like best?

Guac and roll

What’s the avocado’s favorite Aerosmith song?

Guac this way

Why didn’t the avocado win the race?

He had to make too many pit stops

What happens when you cross an avocado and Keith Richards?

You get a fruit that will outlast the guac-roaches

How do you tell an avocado from an octopus?

An octopus has eight legs

How well did the Mexican avocado speak English?

With a slight guaccent

What did the avocado princess say to the avocado prince?

We’re going to live happily avo after

What did the avocado teen say to encourage her best friend?

Hass, Queen!

How do young avocados get what they want all the time?

They spread it on thick

What do you call an avocado with very curly hair?


What did the patriotic avocado sing?

Stars and Ripes Forever

What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?


What does a robot use to eat guacamole?


Who’s there?
Avocado who?

Avocado cold.

Do you love yourself a cute avocado pun every once in a while? Whether you're a funny vegan who loves vegan avocado toast, or just someone who loves a good food pun or joke, grab your tortilla chip and make some guacamole pun dip, because these clever avocado puns and jokes will get you going in the ripe direction. These funny avocado quotes and jokes are the best type of humor, a good avocado joke or food dad joke is always a great thing at the dinner table or in your instagram caption. Shake that avocado tree of humor, and make even the most grumpy avocado love your clever avocado puns, as these fantastically funny food jokes are some of the best things since they smashed avocado and made guacamole in the first place. Don't get avocado fat off of these funny avocado puns, avo giggle so much you'll lose that avocado fat with every word and fit into the skinny jeans of humor. Vegan avocado toast and a great guacamole pun are the best fun combo, and each funny joke will have you stuck between the guac and a hard place because you just can't stop laughing at every single word. These funny avocado quotes and funny joke meme puns will have you avo giggle at every turn, so share them with your avocado lover friends, and get them headed in the ripe direction of fun and humor too.

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