Drive You Crazy Trucker Jokes

The truck driving business can be a tough one. Long drives on lonely roads, endless diner food and possibly a slightly troubling habit of taking way too much no-doz are hard on the soul of a trucker. But, somehow they remain committed to the job and get it done. So, how about a few laughs for road? We scoured the internet for some of the funniest and best trucker jokes we could find. Pull over and check them out. A laugh is worth the stop. Besides, it's time to take your tums.

1) A trucker gets lost one day and as luck would have it he comes to a low bridge and gets stuck under it. Eventually, a cop pulls up at the scene. He walks up to the driver and with a serious look says, "Got stuck, did you?" The trucker looks back at the cop and just as serious says,

"No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas."

2) Cop pulls over a trucker and says, "Papers."

The trucker looks at the cop and says, "Scissors! I win!" Then he just drives away.

3) How do you make a million dollars in trucking?

You start with two million dollars.

4) My teacher told me I'd never get a job staring out of a window.

I guess I showed her, huh?

5) A truck driver was driving for a local snack entrepreneur from Ireland until one day, he crashed and died. At the funeral, the snack entrepreneur gave a touching speech.

He said, "He was driving me nuts alright until the bloody truck crashed."

6) A truck driver calls into dispatch.
Driver: I just ran over a pig.
Dispatch: Is it dead?
Driver: Oh yeah, dead as can be.
Dispatch: Trucks okay?
Driver: Totally a-okay.
Dispatch: Then bury the pig and keep it pushing.
Driver: Roger, that.
The trucker disconnects, but calls back a short time later.

Dispatch: What's the problem? You bury the pig?
Trucker: Yeah, but now I don't know what to do with his cop car.

7) How do truckers contact each other in Wisconsin?

They use a Milwaukee-talkie.

8) Why can't truck drivers ever fully retire?

Because they can only semi-retire.

9) Truckers are getting into trouble with environmentalists for animal cruelty these days.

Because their trucks don't go fast enough to kill the bugs. Only crush their tiny legs and arms.

10) Have you heard about J.B. Hunt's new accident kit?

It comes with a 3 gallons of orange paint and a paint brush.

11) What does a Schneider truck and an orange barrel have in common?

They both have a dirt bag in them.

12) How do you say J.B. Hunt in German?

Schneider.

13) Why are truckers just like dogs?

They pee on tires, chase cars, live in a box and once in a while, get to bury a bone.

14) A trucker pulls over at a diner and orders a cheeseburger, a cup of coffee and one slice of cherry pie. While he's waiting for his food, three huge bikers come in. When the trucker's food comes, he doesn't get the chance to eat it. The first biker takes the trucker's cheeseburger. The second biker takes the trucker's coffee. And the third biker takes the trucker's slice of cherry pie. The trucker says nothing, gets up and walks out of the diner. A guy at the counter says to the cashier, "Wasn't really much of man, huh? He didn't do anything."

The cashier only replies, "Yeah, not much of a driver either. He just backed into three motorcycles while pulling out of here."

15) What do you get when Swift leaves a parking lot?

Two parking spaces.

I hope these jokes help make the long nights out on the road just a little more bearable. Keep on trucking, good buddy. Don't forget to honk that horn at unsuspecting motorists. They love having the daylights scared out of them. You can tell by the way they swerve all over the place. Happy trails to all you truckers out there!

Looking for a great truck driver joke with lots of trucker slang to tell your friends? Well, curl up with a trucker's cheeseburger and a slice of apple pie and here these great trucker slang jokes that will have you laughing so hard you need a tow truck driver to come pick you up. The trucking industry is full of great trucker joke opportunities, and if you drive a big rig or semi truck you will love these jokes and thinking about them as you cruise down the highway or sit at a truck stop. Turn on your headlights and fry up some crisp bacon, as that blonde waitress isn't gonna remember your order correctly this time either. Don't let your trailer run away, these trucker jokes will make you the funniest person at the truck stop on the highway, and no funny videos or the ugliest woman on the planet could make you or your truck mechanics laugh harder at the truck stop cafe. The mechanic or priest hitchhiking joke is a good one to tell to a police officer, garbage truck driver, or your trucker husband who loves his big rig and trucker jokes. These jokes are fun and get lots of truck driver nods, even if they drive a diesel semi truck. That police officer in his police car or on a motorcycle won't even bother opening your trailer door if you tell him a hitchhiker joke like these ones, and a blonde joke truckers always love to hear at the truck stop cafe, and annoy the waitress. have some fun with your truck mechanics or garbage truck driver today, as these truck driver jokes will make even the motorcycle gang laugh.