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Bloody Hilarious Vampire Jokes

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Hey there folks! Are you a big fan of vampires? Are you really into the mystery and allure of countless legendary tales of romantic, yet all together frightening blood-sucking vamps? Well, let's add to your repertoire of vampire lore with a few vampire jokes. We've scoured the internet for some of the best. The next time your coven gets together for a serious vamp session, lighten the mood with one of these sharp-toothed laughs.

what do you give a vampire with a sore throat?

A coffin drop.

What does a vampire never say?

You're standing in my light.

What is a vampire's favorite fundraiser?

A blood drive.

Why did the vampire lose his job at the blood bank?

He was drinking on the job.

If a vampire bites a snowman,

does he get frostbite?

What's a vampire's favorite cocktail?

A Bloody Mary.

Why do vampires always use the expressway?

They were told it's a main artery.

How do you know you would suck at being a vampire?

You faint at the sight of blood.

How does a vampire take his coffee?


What do vampire's fear more than a wooden stake?

Tooth decay.

What did Count Dracula's girlfriend say after they got into a lover's spat?

You know, you're a real pain in the neck.

What class does a vampire avoid at his gym?


Vampires are actually funny,

but most of their jokes never see the light of day.

How did the vampire ask out his date?

"Hey gorgeous, do you want to go out for a bite?"

Where does a young vampire boy do number one and two?

In the little bat room.

Are you a vampire lover looking for some hilarious jokes and funny vampire puns to tell your friends and family? Well, we have some of the best funny vampire puns and halloween jokes around, better than any funny joke book that will make any kids or adults laugh out loud! Every vampire joke is guaranteed to make you laugh, and you'll love sharing these funny jokes with your friends! Kindle some halloween humor with these funny vampire jokes, and great clean jokes that will make you the vampire king of comedy anywhere you go! These silly jokes are great humor that will make long trips or tense situations fun, and this halloween humor is guaranteed to make any kids or adults laugh out loud at the comedy of these funny vampire jokes! You don't need a halloween joke book, these silly jokes and clean jokes are great for long trips with friends and family, and no silly joke book or funny movie could lighten tense moods or get the reader laughing as much as these great hilarious jokes can! Get some halloween laughs as you tickle the funny bone of any person or child, and like a vampire bat scare the laughter out of them, as reading these jokes will get any person or child laughing like no halloween jokes book or funny movie can! These halloween laughs you must share with your friends and family, and they will throw away their hilarious joke books in favor of the funny comedy that you share with them, and your great vampire jokes will make all the kids laugh for days!

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