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Funny Pick Up Lines

Master the Opening Line

In the world of Tinder, first impressions count! Nothing shuts romance down faster than a bad pickup line. So, to slant the odds in your favor, here's a collection of funny pickup lines to put your online dating apps career into high gear. We'll start with a few cheesy but safe ones...

1) What's a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?

(Meh, turn it up a bit - maybe try.. where are Cheerleaders in Your Pantheon of Hatred?)

2) Are you a cat? Because I feline a connection between us.

(So we're after heavy petting, are we?)

3) Are you a cake? Because I want a piece of that!

(Pro-tip: marry the one who makes cupcakes.)

4) I'm new in town. Would you like to give me directions to your apartment?

(I live in a bad pickup line neighborhood)

5) Are you a beaver? Cause DAMNNNNN!

(Works Great With Dental Hygienists!)

6) If girls were boogers, I'd definitely pick you.

(What every girls wants to hear...)

7) Are my shoes untied or did I just fall for you?

(Are you tripping on something?)

8) Is your name Ariel? Because I think we mermaid for each other.

(But our romance is sinking fast!)

9) Excuse me, I'm a little low on cash, do you want to share a cab home together?

(Let me guess, you're low on rent as well?)

10) Do you like Nintendo? Because Wii would look good together.

(That worked... in 2012...)

11) Can I take a picture? I want to show Santa what I want for Christmas.

(Yeah, yeah... unwrap your presents...)

12) Interesting fact: kissing burns 6.4 calories per minute. Wanna workout?

(say that to the person at the gym with perfect clothing and hair)

13) Do you live in a cornfield? Cause I'm definitely stalking you!

(Warning: farm girls carry guns...)

14) Can I follow you home? Cause my parents said I should follow all my dreams.

(Ask her dog what happened the last time someone followed her home...)

15) If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

(Clearly, you are a master of No-mance)

16) If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber.

(I'm a mindless vegetable)

17) I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?

(That would be fine.)

18) I want you to have my children. They're outside the bar, waiting in the pinto parked by the dumpster. Don't worry, they \ have animal crackers to eat and the windows are cracked. But, enough about me!

(solid boyfriend material right there)

19) Do you speak English? Yeah, me too.

(Hola senorita, yo es fugitivo..)

20) Do you mind if I hang out until it's safe where I just broke wind?

(Boyfriends - a key source of greenhouse gases)

21) You're really cute. Wanna donate blood together some time?

(Works until you try to pick up an actual vampire..)

22) Want to come to my place? I have a fun dungeon and a scrabble board.

(We know a few ladies who are into that - the scrabble board part, at least...)

23) Fat penguin. There, I just wanted to break the ice.

(Morgan Freeman is coming for you!)

24) Know what's on the menu? Me-n-u.

(And a few Margaritas.. we'll need em)

25) You remind me of my sister in a totally awesome and romantic way.

(Yes Daddy... totally not flirting)

26) Hi there! So, the voices in my head were arguing for first dibs on trying to chat you up. Spoiler! I won! That makes me an alpha voice. That's hot, right?

(Don't use this cheesy pickup line on a phone chat up line... or mental ward)

27) I'm really fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

(You have tickets to Disney World?)

28) How do you spell your phone number?

(We can help!)

29) You want to re-enact "Thirty Shades of Grey", minus the whole multi-millionaire part?

(Read the fine print)

30) Are you my appendix? Because I have a feeling I should take you out.

(I didn't realize I was such a pain...)

31) Yeah, funerals really suck. Is there an after party or anything you were going to?

(Goth girls are more fun)

32) It's the weirdest thing. I can't taste my lips. Can you do it for me?

(This got a whole new meaning in 2020)

33) Yeah! Yeah, I totally remember you! We went to different schools together!

(Instagram & Zoom - fuel for my social life)

34) Guy: Hey, do you want to go out some time? Girl: I have a boyfriend. Guy: I have a math test tomorrow. Girl: What does that have to do with anything? Guy: Oh, I thought we were listing things we could cheat on.

(No, I list those on Twitter & Facebook)

And there you have them, friends! Some of the wackiest, zaniest and funny pick-up lines to put to the test. I should put a disclaimer here and now: Any harm, injury or legal problems that arise from use of these lines are in no way our fault. However, if they work out for you, we totally want the credit. Use them with caution! Make your dating life something you want to remember. Most importantly, always enjoy the laughs!

Want to land a hot girl with a cute pick up line? Every funny line on this site will help you be the funniest, most flirty guy on the block, telling funny jokes that can make any girl fall in love with you instantly, with just one cheesy line or joke. Have a good laugh of humor and win any conversation with each pun on here, and turn your clever pick up lines game into a good thing with every cheesy pickup line you use. Each cheesy pick up line or smooth pickup line you use makes you instant boyfriend material. You don't need to buy designer clothing, just tell a good pickup line, whether it is in real life or an app on your cell phone that you use for flirting with cute women.

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