Boredom-Slaying Hilarious Skyrim Jokes

Are you a huge fan of the classic Elder Scrolls game known as Skyrim? Then you'll bust out laughing, and crack up your friends and family with these imperially funny Skyrim jokes!

Why did the Dragonborn travel to the top of High Hrothgar?

To find out what the Fus was about.

I wanted to bet Anoriath the Butcher $50 that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top of his stall.

He replied “no, the steaks are too high.”

Why did the skeleton go to the burial crypts alone?

Because he couldn’t find anybody to go with him.

Why doesn’t the people of Tamriel have firearms?

Because the Flame Atronachs already have fire-arms.

I like to pickpocket the bards.
Why?

They have the best lute.

Why didn’t the Khajiit go in Whiterun?

Because he went Elsweyr.

What crime is it when a Spriggan kills his own race?

Treeson.

What is the name of a Dark Elf’s sword?

Dullmer.

How many fingers does a Dragonborn have?

Four fingers and a Thu’um.

Where’s is the best place for introverts to live in Skyrim?

Solitude.

Why did the Redguard have a broken foot?

Because his Hammerfell.

What’s a Daedra’s favorite band?

Mehrunes 5.

How does the Falmer meet potential partners?

They go on blind dates.

How do you greet a group of dragons?

How y’Alduin?

What armor is good for thieves?

Hide armor.

The mighty Dragonborn got rich from looting and exploring dungeons and ancient tombs.

He urned his fortune.

Roses are red, Glenmoril Witches carries a feather.

Certain types of vegetables grow faster in cold weather.

The Thalmor always know the whys, whats, whens, and who’s.

Khajiits have the wares.

Have you seen the produce from farmers of Hammerfell?

They have curved gourds! Curved. Gourds.

What do the true sons and daughters of Skyrim wear?

A Stormcloak.

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