Dungeon-Masterful Dungeons And Dragons Pickup Lines

Hey baby, are you a beholder? Because I would love to be holdin' on to you!

(I mean, beauty is in the eye...)

You must be a bard, 'cause you are definitely pluckin' my heartstrings!

(Nope, she's BORED, not a bard)

You must be a paladin because you're looking lawful good!

(I feel like paladin should be a palindrome, because you've got this one all backwards)

Did you just roll a natural 20? Because you just crit my heart.

(No, but she's a natural 10)

Your dad must have been a rogue because he stole the stars and hid them in your eyes.

(No, she just has two glass eyes, be more considerate)

You must have a 20 constitution. You have been running through my mind nonstop!

(You can have her constitution, but her declaration of independence is reserved for Nicolas Cage only)

Oh man, somebody cast resist fire on me! This chick is HOT!

(Some people just want to watch you burn)

Are you a mind flayer? My brain has been totally consumed by you.

(Oh, so that's why you can't think straight here)

You must be a wizard. You definitely cast Charm Person on me!

(And now she'll cast Person Leave Me Alone)

Somebody send to Mount Celestia, 'cause they must be missing an angel!

(Nah, it's just that Red Bull that gave her wings)

Is your name Vecna? Because if I have your Eye, then I want your Hand in marriage.

(Well, that one is a little bit strong, don't you think?)

Wanna get outta here and go someplace more private? Or do I need to wait an hour and reroll my diplomacy?

(Reroll all you want, I don't think it'll change her answer)

You must be divine. I'm taking radiant damage just standing next to you.

(Elephant's foot who?)

I've been hit by Ray of Enfeeblement! You're making my knees weak!

(... mom's spaghetti)

Are you a monk? You sure look stunning!

(Yeah, monks aren't exactly into the whole romance thing...)

I must have failed my Will save because you have Charmed me!

(See also: Will you be my girlfriend?)

I don't care if you're a fallen Aasimar, as long as your fallin' into my arms!

(And you're fallin' on the ground after she smacks you)

Meeting you has made my Wish spell come true!

(I don't think the wish was mutual)

I've failed my medicine check. You've made my heart stop!

(I'm no healer, but you should probably get that looked at)

Are you a druid? Because your shape is driving me wild!

(Dial it back, Ed Sheeran)

Are you a barbarian? Because your style is all the rage!

(She'll definitely be feeling rage all right)

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